So much to do – working on the website and everything connected thereto. It takes me hours. How I wish I could just pay someone else! Then there is writing posts for this blog, doing a fresh entry for the unjealousheart.com website, helping each day with my grandsons, maintaining my relationship with God as top priority (which is really first in line), and then the unceasing demands of daily living – exercise for my back, groceries, errands, laundry, paying bills, cooking, cleaning – and somehow getting adequate sleep so I can think clearly.
Dear dear Father, only You can enable me to get all this done, but I know You will. I do not have the strength of youth, like I did during those blessed years when Sharon was home and I stayed up late and got up early to write. Proverbs 3:5-6 is just as true today as it was 20 years ago. I know that!
And though, externally, my standard of living is about the same, it is infinitely richer, deeper, and satisfying. I know You better, and I trust You more. I automatically treasure the unseen things – giggles from my youngest grandson, surprising wisdom from my older one, spontaneous hugs from both of them, and the relief on my daughter’s face when I walk in the door each morning to delighted cries of “Nana! Nana’s here!”
Only rarely do I feel the poison of jealousy and envy now, like I did so many years ago when I wrote “Unjealous Heart”. When I do feel envy, I confess and squash it immediately by counting my blessings and focusing on what I can do for those in my path at the moment. And the same with fear and self-doubt. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, “the God of angel armies” is by my side. Whom shall I fear, as Chris Tomlin sings. http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=WDZYYWNX
God has promised to guide my steps as – or in proportion to how much – I trust in Him with all my heart. I’m glad it’s too confusing to figure tjhis all out for myself because it makes me lean closer to Him.
“I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.” (Psalms 84:10, NIV)
Yes, Lord, I would rather live close to You and be poor than have “riches untold”. You alone can satisfy! You alone care for my soul and have a unique plan for my life and You are – still – working all things out for my good! Thank you, Jesus!